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Cledus T. Judd
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Merry Christmas from the Whole Fam Damily
It was the fight before Christmas when all through the house No furniture left standing, no TV or couch Our aquarium, heck they even knocked over my Chia Pet MeMaw was flung 'cross the room by her hair By her sister Ethel who never fought fair
Let's get ready to tumble The children all wrestled and jumped off the beds Dropping elbows and knees on each other's heads And MaMaw wth her frying pan and Pa with his bat Cleared half the room in ten seconds flat
The whole brawl began from an innocent matter When Aunt Flo thought Eugene said, 'She looks a whole lot fatter' She knocked him through the window he fell with a crash Tore down the gutters and busted his leg really bad
You ought to have saw it It looked like he'd been in a motorcycle wreck No kiddin', yeah, awful I couldn't turn to look at it
See both sides of our family have never gotten along And every holiday something always go wrong You ain't supposed to fight but spread joy in this season But when they get the nog they just look for a reason
In no time at all everybody joined in And right there we squared off with our closest of kin 'It's a time for givin'' said Uncle Bill As he gave a black eye to his brother-in-law, Phil
I heard somebody say, 'It's the thought that counts And right now I'm thinking about knocking your butt out' Presents and fists flew all over the room And NaNa had some fancy moves with the broom
She took out three cousins and knocked down the tree And I ducked just in time she swung out at me
It's my favorite time of year Dad always has too much beer Get's on the roof and hunts reindeer Merry Christmas from the whole fam damily
Tie the antlers on the dog Find more lyrics at ※ Mojim.com Save some shine for Santa Claus From all the in-laws and outlaws Merry Christmas from the whole fam damily
I crawled to the phone, Lord, it seemed like a mile And called 911 which we keep on speed dial In a matter of minutes out the window appeared Flashing blue lights and the Sherrif John Deere
Just then six men burst through the door Some yelling, 'Hey, it's us', some, 'Get on the floor' A stray punch from Grandpa found the Sherrif's chin And just for good measure he clocked him again
It took all 6 cops to get Grandpa in cuffs You know he gets feisty when he runs out of snuff We all stopped our fighting and cheered Grandpa on Heck I thought he could take them I guess I was wrong
As they dragged him outside he yelled, 'I've been framed' He was kicking and screaming and calling them names 'You **** You ****, let me go you **** You donut eatin stupid **** son of a ****'
We stood on the porch as did all our neighbours Who always took interest in our family's behavior 'Mind your own business' we heard Grandma shout And 'We'll take back the presents and then come bail you out'
By now we'd forgotten what we'd been fighting for We were battered and bruised but united once more Then we all joined hands and sang 'Violent Night' Violent Night
And we heard Grandpa exclaim as they drove off out of sight 'Merry Christmas to all, man that was a good fight'
Deck your neighbor, deck the halls 'Tis the season for a brawl From all of us to all of y'all Merry Christmas from the whole fam damily Merry Christmas from the whole fam damily Merry Christmas from the whole fam damily
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