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Salty Dick
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Bell-bottom Trousers
Once there was a waitress at the Prince George Hotel,
Her mistress was a lady, and her master was a swell.
They knew she was a simple girl just lately from the farm,
And so they watched her carefully to keep her from all harm.
Bell-bottom trousers, coat's a Navy blue,
Let him climb the rigging like his daddy used to do.
The Forty-second Fusiliers came marching into town,
And with them came a complement of rapists of renown.
They busted every maidenhead that came within their spell,
But they never fucked the waitress at the Prince George Hotel.
Bell-bottom trousers, coat's a Navy blue,
Let him climb the rigging like his daddy used to do.
Next there came a company of the Prince of Wales' Hussars -
They piled into the whorehouse and they packed along the bars.
Many a maiden mistress and wife before them fell,
But they never fucked the waitress at the Prince George Hotel.
Bell-bottom trousers, coat's a Navy blue,
Let him climb the rigging like his daddy used to do.
Then there came a sailor, an ordinary bloke,
Bulging at the trousers with a cock of solid oak.
At sea without a woman for seven years or more -
There wasn't any need to ask what he was looking for.
Bell-bottom trousers, coat's a Navy blue,
Let him climb the rigging like his daddy used to do.
He asked her for a candlestick to light his way to bed,
He asked her for pillow just to rest his weary head.
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And speaking very gently just as if he meant no harm,
He asked her if she'd come to bed just so's to keep him warm.
Bell-bottom trousers, coat's a Navy blue,
Let him climb the rigging like his daddy used to do.
She lifted up the blanket and a moment there did lie;
He was on her, he was in her in the twinkling of an eye.
He was in again and out again and fucking up a storm,
And the only thing she said to him, 'I hope you're keeping warm.'
Bell-bottom trousers, coat's a Navy blue,
Let him climb the rigging like his daddy used to do.
So early the next morning the sailor he arose
Saying, 'Here's a 10-pound note my dear for the damage I have caused.
If you have a daughter, bounce her on your knee,
And if you have a son, send the bastard off to sea.'
Bell-bottom trousers, coat's a Navy blue,
Let him climb the rigging like his daddy used to do.
Now she sits upon the dock a baby at her knee,
Waiting for them men-o'-war a coming home from sea.
Waiting for them jolly tars in Navy uniform
For all she wants to do, me boys, is keep the Navy warm.
Bell-bottom trousers, coat's a Navy blue,
Let him climb the rigging like his daddy used to do.
Bell-bottom trousers, coat's a Navy blue,
Let him climb the rigging like his daddy used to do.
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